The other day a French friend of mine wrote me asking, “Do you think the gay community is excluding black men?” For the record. I had to reply that it's a very complex topic...and perhaps not quite the right question.
It's kind of like asking, "Do you think that Asians are ________?" "Asian" is a deceptively simple category -- it's totally logical to us western white people, many who are routinely identified as "Asian" don't identify with one another, and some are even hostile toward one another for all kinds of ethnic and historical reasons. The "gay community" is KIND OF like that -- it doesn't really exist as an actual thing.
What am I trying to say? Hmmmm. Okay, first off, when you boil it down, all gay men ARE alike: They're men who are sexually and emotionally attracted to other men. But that's where the similarities end, and you can't create a "community" out of that. Gay men are very diverse and divided up into many smaller cliques. On the most basic level, they differ what particular type(s) (if any) they fetishize, e.g., some some guys have a fetish for fatties or femmes or young men 18-22 years old, and some are particularly attracted to Asians who wear Polo shirts and speak with California accents but not Asians who speak with an accent, or to Blacks, or body builders, or whatever. There're also plenty of gay men who are most definitely NOT physically or emotionally attracted to those types.
The only way one can call that a "community" is in the ways those diverse people may band together to either make it easier to connect sexually (e.g., gay clubs, gay websites), and/or to isolate themselves from what they perceive as a hostile "dominant" culture (e.g., the Castro District), and/or to take action against the dominant culture (e.g., the marriage equality movement).
Some black gays feel isolated because they feel a lot of white gays consider them a specialized "taste" and, not feeling particularly attracted to them, ignore their existence. I'm sure that some black gays may feel no particular interest in sexual or emotional relationships with whites.
I've heard that some black gays say that they feel isolated from their families and churches: Because they value their family/church relationships, they feel they must keep their gayness a secret; in their circles, being gay is "something the white boys do, not the brothers," and if they get out there publicly campaigning, it shames their family and friends. Some white activists don't understand this and complain that the black gays aren't carrying their load, that they have to step up and do more work in their ethnic communities.
I have read criticisms from black gay bloggers that white gay activists take for granted a social-historical connection with the black civil rights movement -- that the whites aren't justified in doing that, or that whites don't really understand what that movement means to blacks; in fact, some blacks (including some gays) feel that this is just one more example of whites co-opting something black (after highjacking musical styles, food, etc.). They sometimes complain that politically-active white gays are pushing too hard, that white activists don't seem to understand -- or take seriously -- the special concerns and needs of black gays. Many blacks gays feel that the fight for what they see as tidy middle-class marriage rights is a lower priority than just achieving economic parity, restoring healthy neighborhoods, and ending police policies of racial profile.
So, i guess working through this, I can't answer the question my friend posed, but I kind of think:
1. Gay people align with others who share their interests (sexual, political, economic, racial)
2. Those interests are sometimes in conflict along racial lines
3. This has resulted in a rifts, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, frustration, etc.
I'd be interested in any comments with your thoughts. Maybe I've got a terrific blindspot in my analysis!
